Changes

Yes, the autumn season is in mid-change and I'm still reeling from 2 major changes in my life. My dad passed away October 24, 2009 and my 15 1/2 year radio show was eliminated last December 8, 2009.

I miss both so much. The Garth Brooks song "Learning to Live Again" keeps running through my mind.

Like most of us, I've been through many changes in my life....but these last 2 have been the hardest to deal with.

A 15 1/2 year radio show is a huge loss. The listeners, the people I worked with, just everything about it I miss. My identity. It's true, when you lose your life's career, you lose your identity. Many of my friends are in the same boat only with different careers and they are feeling the same way. Yes, it's the human condition to feel this way. That's what makes being human so amazing. We are never alone with each other.

I always knew radio was a huge part of my happiness because I fell in love with it the minute I started. Having my shift eliminated in December still leaves an empty feeling in my heart and it won't last forever. No pain ever does.

Just like losing my father, my number one love, besides my mom. My popsie left us on October 24, 2009. Just a few weeks ago. Since I don't have children, my parents are still my main family along with my husband Brett. So, this is really hard.

Little reminders make me cry and they make me smile. Mostly I miss him just like I knew I would when this day came.

2 major losses.....I look at it as 2 major changes. Of course, I'll be OK. My dad knew how much I miss my radio job. He also didn't want me to be as sad as I was about it and to shake it off. Trust me, I have been trying. It's like losing a love. The main cure is finding something to replace it with. It always hurts a lot more until the next thing comes along and it will. It always does when it's time.

Losing my dad makes it tougher because nothing can ever take the place of him and
I wouldn't want it too. God gave me one great dad and I am so grateful for everything we went through together. We had one heck of a wild ride which always brought us closer. We got to know each other from the difficulties it took with me getting to know myself. As it did him I'm sure! He learned to say "I love you" and to hug me. 2 of the greatest gifts I'll ever know and I'm sure for him too!

No job, no dad.......so it's time to focus on all I do have and count my many other blessings. I am never alone in anything I'm feeling because I know we are all in this thing called life together.

My husband lost a dad too, for he truly loved "our" dad. He also has lost his career in engineering so we are both in areas we've never been before. Our careers have been eliminated. Mine to voice tracking his to China, Mexico and India.

We are growing closer which is wonderful to me. Statisitics show many people fall out of love and get divorced over no money, no job. No one knows how they are going to deal with change until it happens.

I know one thing, this will not break us. It's the greed over money that has gotten America into this mess......no way, will we let it destroy us. OVER MONEY? never! The devastation going on in our country right now because a few people have to have so much of it, should not give any negative power to us and those we love. They can take our jobs and houses and cars and washers and dryers and everything else of material value....let's not give them our relationship too. They don't have that kind of power unless we give it to them.

17 million other Americans out of work like we are. Yes, these are scarey times. Change always is. Especially the kind we are in right now where there are no jobs much less career jobs to be had. Let's NOT lose sight of our families. If we loved during the good times, we will love even more now.

It saddens me to see the divorce rate growing higher during these tough economic times when most of us are simply innocent victims of something that has destroyed lives since the beginning of time. GREED. I'm choosing to let love flow all over my marriage. It's very different now, way way different from when we met. Like night and day.

Even with no job and my dad just dying.... I am feeling a Holy Spirit that is connecting me to all the goodness in the world right now.

I choose to be a part of helping myself and helping others. Let those who have to take our material things have them....and let them go freely. If that's what someone needs to be happy is the little bit we have.......let them have it.

Money will never be worth more than love. Someone said to me yesterday, "if you got a million dollars right now what would you do with it?"

My answer, "give it all away!"

When I see what has happened to our great country over money.......yuck! I don't even want it anymore!

To be of service to you and make your world and mine a better more loving place is my only goal. That is the change I'm choosing to make, just like I always have.