Monday, November 23, 2009
I LOVE YOU WORLD!
I'm thankful for every breathe I took today and all the people that smiled back at me!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thank God for Friends and God and my Husband
Been feeling pretty crappy for the last 10 days. Try to analyze "am I depressed?" or "really sick." My husband says "You're sick hon" "it's Jylness!" (ew, I hate having a name that rhymes with illness)........I could do a rap right now but I'll pass.
Went to the Dr. He said my throat's red, took a z-pak but still feeling horrible. Everyday hoping today I feel better. This is where faith comes in strong, 'cause when you're sick, the world really does stop.
If I had a show to do, I'd go do it. Since I'm not working, no reason to push myself but the isolation is truly horrilble.
Thankful I have a great husband to cook for me and go to the store. Life would be so difficult without him. It's truly a blessing to have a husband who is also my best friend, and neighbor! We don't live together, never have except on trips.
We have such different life styles we know that living together will truly be challenging. Since he is also out of work, it could happen although we hope so much
he can find something to do to make a living and keep his house. He's welcome in my
little world of 10,000 sq ft. if it happens, we will make it work of course.
We've been trying to start some meet-up groups for people out of work like we are. People who had careers they loved and are now dealing with all that comes with this kind of loss. It's huge. We see people complain about their jobs on facebook and it feels awful because we can't find one. We see people all excited for the weekend, and we don't have that either. It's just no fun not having your career or a place to go to. Working gives you a sense of purpose and feeling of accomplishment, even if you don't realize it everyday. Once it's gone, you feel the magnitude of it.
I've always wanted to write a book about my life to help people. I came through so much to still be here today. Now is that time to do it. I just need to start. It's such an overwhelming thought though to sit down and write my life story in a way that someone would want to read it.
I know I need to do conversations and write a story, not just a journal. I have a year to do this in unless something else comes along in the meantime.
Yesterday 2 friends helped get me through the day. It was a rough one. Not feeling good, no job, my dad went to heaven a few weeks ago and I miss him. This too shall pass.
It is not total darkness I see, like sometimes I have, but rather hints of light in a dark tunnel. My mind is working less hard today to stay positive, its truly a one day a time affair in this unemployed life.
What to be when I grow up at 55 years young? That's the million dollar question.
Once that unfolds, life will feel more back on track for me. Maybe it's time for the book I've talked my whole life about writing.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........."just wondering!"
Went to the Dr. He said my throat's red, took a z-pak but still feeling horrible. Everyday hoping today I feel better. This is where faith comes in strong, 'cause when you're sick, the world really does stop.
If I had a show to do, I'd go do it. Since I'm not working, no reason to push myself but the isolation is truly horrilble.
Thankful I have a great husband to cook for me and go to the store. Life would be so difficult without him. It's truly a blessing to have a husband who is also my best friend, and neighbor! We don't live together, never have except on trips.
We have such different life styles we know that living together will truly be challenging. Since he is also out of work, it could happen although we hope so much
he can find something to do to make a living and keep his house. He's welcome in my
little world of 10,000 sq ft. if it happens, we will make it work of course.
We've been trying to start some meet-up groups for people out of work like we are. People who had careers they loved and are now dealing with all that comes with this kind of loss. It's huge. We see people complain about their jobs on facebook and it feels awful because we can't find one. We see people all excited for the weekend, and we don't have that either. It's just no fun not having your career or a place to go to. Working gives you a sense of purpose and feeling of accomplishment, even if you don't realize it everyday. Once it's gone, you feel the magnitude of it.
I've always wanted to write a book about my life to help people. I came through so much to still be here today. Now is that time to do it. I just need to start. It's such an overwhelming thought though to sit down and write my life story in a way that someone would want to read it.
I know I need to do conversations and write a story, not just a journal. I have a year to do this in unless something else comes along in the meantime.
Yesterday 2 friends helped get me through the day. It was a rough one. Not feeling good, no job, my dad went to heaven a few weeks ago and I miss him. This too shall pass.
It is not total darkness I see, like sometimes I have, but rather hints of light in a dark tunnel. My mind is working less hard today to stay positive, its truly a one day a time affair in this unemployed life.
What to be when I grow up at 55 years young? That's the million dollar question.
Once that unfolds, life will feel more back on track for me. Maybe it's time for the book I've talked my whole life about writing.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........."just wondering!"
Saturday, November 14, 2009
that Zebra looks like a Giraffe
and why not?
The whole external world has been turned upside down by the greed of a few individuals who think money is the answer to everything.
I'm so sick of these people that all I want to do is win the lottery to give it away and make that my fulltime job.
Yes, we need money to live. Shelter, food, gas, a trip here and there.
But so many lives are at this very minute devastated by the greed of those who weaseled their way to the top of a corporate scheme and have left 17 million Americans wondering what they are going to do now to survive.
Life can be difficult enough without losing your fulltime career. The days are long, the nights are sleepless. Your mind constantly wondering what to do next.
Will I personally let the greed of those who got us in this position destroy me?
It's a struggle but I will not let them win.
Who ever thought at the prime of your life in America, you'd be left without your lifetime career that you have worked on building since you were in high school or college?
I'm going to write a book with my husband. It will be a hit. We will go on Oprah before she retires!
The money we make from our book will be used to make the world a better place. We will feed the hungry in America, we will save the animals in Africa and other places where killing them makes it the 3rd largest black market industry. We will have so much fun giving it away. We will feel full of love and happiness more than we ever dreamed possible.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Best of Times vs The Worst of Times
It really so depends on how willing you are to let go of your fears and losses and embrace your joy in the moment. Even if it's simply looking out at this beautiful sunny day and being thankful for your eyes. You learn, through the worst of times that in itself is so much.
When your lifetime career or job has been stripped away from you
your entire world as you knew it becomes a complete 360. EVERYTHING changes. You wake up, you don't have to be anywhere. Your co-workers are no longer in your life on a daily basis. You have nothing to get dressed for and of course the obvious, no paycheck, no health insurance. No sense of purpose. It's a feeling of sheer fear and can be compared to being dropped in the middle of the world somewhere all by yourself.
It's been 11 months since my radio position was eliminated after being with the same station for nearly 16 years. It's better today than it was when it first happened, but the feeling of being not a part of anything is the hardest for me. Even though my mind knows that is not true, I have to fight with those thoughts on a daily basis.
Used to be, there would be another job waiting. Not so today.
So, how do you live in the best of times, when the worse of times has hit you personally? That my friends, is what I've been teaching myself to do day by day, minute by minute since the day the music died (for me!) I was a radio personality for 28 years and loved every minute of it. But that's not what this is about.
It's about starting over completely at 55 years old and where do I go from here?
Every sentence I write has been a song. Do you ever notice that? When I'm finished, I think I'll count the number of songs I've written myself in this blog.
I grew up loving music and it's in my brain no matter what I'm thinking. Music helped shape who I am today.
My husband just walked in. Hmmmmmmm I'm not sure that's a song yet! Powerless over the interruption.....be back later.
When your lifetime career or job has been stripped away from you
your entire world as you knew it becomes a complete 360. EVERYTHING changes. You wake up, you don't have to be anywhere. Your co-workers are no longer in your life on a daily basis. You have nothing to get dressed for and of course the obvious, no paycheck, no health insurance. No sense of purpose. It's a feeling of sheer fear and can be compared to being dropped in the middle of the world somewhere all by yourself.
It's been 11 months since my radio position was eliminated after being with the same station for nearly 16 years. It's better today than it was when it first happened, but the feeling of being not a part of anything is the hardest for me. Even though my mind knows that is not true, I have to fight with those thoughts on a daily basis.
Used to be, there would be another job waiting. Not so today.
So, how do you live in the best of times, when the worse of times has hit you personally? That my friends, is what I've been teaching myself to do day by day, minute by minute since the day the music died (for me!) I was a radio personality for 28 years and loved every minute of it. But that's not what this is about.
It's about starting over completely at 55 years old and where do I go from here?
Every sentence I write has been a song. Do you ever notice that? When I'm finished, I think I'll count the number of songs I've written myself in this blog.
I grew up loving music and it's in my brain no matter what I'm thinking. Music helped shape who I am today.
My husband just walked in. Hmmmmmmm I'm not sure that's a song yet! Powerless over the interruption.....be back later.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Changes
Yes, the autumn season is in mid-change and I'm still reeling from 2 major changes in my life. My dad passed away October 24, 2009 and my 15 1/2 year radio show was eliminated last December 8, 2009.
I miss both so much. The Garth Brooks song "Learning to Live Again" keeps running through my mind.
Like most of us, I've been through many changes in my life....but these last 2 have been the hardest to deal with.
A 15 1/2 year radio show is a huge loss. The listeners, the people I worked with, just everything about it I miss. My identity. It's true, when you lose your life's career, you lose your identity. Many of my friends are in the same boat only with different careers and they are feeling the same way. Yes, it's the human condition to feel this way. That's what makes being human so amazing. We are never alone with each other.
I always knew radio was a huge part of my happiness because I fell in love with it the minute I started. Having my shift eliminated in December still leaves an empty feeling in my heart and it won't last forever. No pain ever does.
Just like losing my father, my number one love, besides my mom. My popsie left us on October 24, 2009. Just a few weeks ago. Since I don't have children, my parents are still my main family along with my husband Brett. So, this is really hard.
Little reminders make me cry and they make me smile. Mostly I miss him just like I knew I would when this day came.
2 major losses.....I look at it as 2 major changes. Of course, I'll be OK. My dad knew how much I miss my radio job. He also didn't want me to be as sad as I was about it and to shake it off. Trust me, I have been trying. It's like losing a love. The main cure is finding something to replace it with. It always hurts a lot more until the next thing comes along and it will. It always does when it's time.
Losing my dad makes it tougher because nothing can ever take the place of him and
I wouldn't want it too. God gave me one great dad and I am so grateful for everything we went through together. We had one heck of a wild ride which always brought us closer. We got to know each other from the difficulties it took with me getting to know myself. As it did him I'm sure! He learned to say "I love you" and to hug me. 2 of the greatest gifts I'll ever know and I'm sure for him too!
No job, no dad.......so it's time to focus on all I do have and count my many other blessings. I am never alone in anything I'm feeling because I know we are all in this thing called life together.
My husband lost a dad too, for he truly loved "our" dad. He also has lost his career in engineering so we are both in areas we've never been before. Our careers have been eliminated. Mine to voice tracking his to China, Mexico and India.
We are growing closer which is wonderful to me. Statisitics show many people fall out of love and get divorced over no money, no job. No one knows how they are going to deal with change until it happens.
I know one thing, this will not break us. It's the greed over money that has gotten America into this mess......no way, will we let it destroy us. OVER MONEY? never! The devastation going on in our country right now because a few people have to have so much of it, should not give any negative power to us and those we love. They can take our jobs and houses and cars and washers and dryers and everything else of material value....let's not give them our relationship too. They don't have that kind of power unless we give it to them.
17 million other Americans out of work like we are. Yes, these are scarey times. Change always is. Especially the kind we are in right now where there are no jobs much less career jobs to be had. Let's NOT lose sight of our families. If we loved during the good times, we will love even more now.
It saddens me to see the divorce rate growing higher during these tough economic times when most of us are simply innocent victims of something that has destroyed lives since the beginning of time. GREED. I'm choosing to let love flow all over my marriage. It's very different now, way way different from when we met. Like night and day.
Even with no job and my dad just dying.... I am feeling a Holy Spirit that is connecting me to all the goodness in the world right now.
I choose to be a part of helping myself and helping others. Let those who have to take our material things have them....and let them go freely. If that's what someone needs to be happy is the little bit we have.......let them have it.
Money will never be worth more than love. Someone said to me yesterday, "if you got a million dollars right now what would you do with it?"
My answer, "give it all away!"
When I see what has happened to our great country over money.......yuck! I don't even want it anymore!
To be of service to you and make your world and mine a better more loving place is my only goal. That is the change I'm choosing to make, just like I always have.
I miss both so much. The Garth Brooks song "Learning to Live Again" keeps running through my mind.
Like most of us, I've been through many changes in my life....but these last 2 have been the hardest to deal with.
A 15 1/2 year radio show is a huge loss. The listeners, the people I worked with, just everything about it I miss. My identity. It's true, when you lose your life's career, you lose your identity. Many of my friends are in the same boat only with different careers and they are feeling the same way. Yes, it's the human condition to feel this way. That's what makes being human so amazing. We are never alone with each other.
I always knew radio was a huge part of my happiness because I fell in love with it the minute I started. Having my shift eliminated in December still leaves an empty feeling in my heart and it won't last forever. No pain ever does.
Just like losing my father, my number one love, besides my mom. My popsie left us on October 24, 2009. Just a few weeks ago. Since I don't have children, my parents are still my main family along with my husband Brett. So, this is really hard.
Little reminders make me cry and they make me smile. Mostly I miss him just like I knew I would when this day came.
2 major losses.....I look at it as 2 major changes. Of course, I'll be OK. My dad knew how much I miss my radio job. He also didn't want me to be as sad as I was about it and to shake it off. Trust me, I have been trying. It's like losing a love. The main cure is finding something to replace it with. It always hurts a lot more until the next thing comes along and it will. It always does when it's time.
Losing my dad makes it tougher because nothing can ever take the place of him and
I wouldn't want it too. God gave me one great dad and I am so grateful for everything we went through together. We had one heck of a wild ride which always brought us closer. We got to know each other from the difficulties it took with me getting to know myself. As it did him I'm sure! He learned to say "I love you" and to hug me. 2 of the greatest gifts I'll ever know and I'm sure for him too!
No job, no dad.......so it's time to focus on all I do have and count my many other blessings. I am never alone in anything I'm feeling because I know we are all in this thing called life together.
My husband lost a dad too, for he truly loved "our" dad. He also has lost his career in engineering so we are both in areas we've never been before. Our careers have been eliminated. Mine to voice tracking his to China, Mexico and India.
We are growing closer which is wonderful to me. Statisitics show many people fall out of love and get divorced over no money, no job. No one knows how they are going to deal with change until it happens.
I know one thing, this will not break us. It's the greed over money that has gotten America into this mess......no way, will we let it destroy us. OVER MONEY? never! The devastation going on in our country right now because a few people have to have so much of it, should not give any negative power to us and those we love. They can take our jobs and houses and cars and washers and dryers and everything else of material value....let's not give them our relationship too. They don't have that kind of power unless we give it to them.
17 million other Americans out of work like we are. Yes, these are scarey times. Change always is. Especially the kind we are in right now where there are no jobs much less career jobs to be had. Let's NOT lose sight of our families. If we loved during the good times, we will love even more now.
It saddens me to see the divorce rate growing higher during these tough economic times when most of us are simply innocent victims of something that has destroyed lives since the beginning of time. GREED. I'm choosing to let love flow all over my marriage. It's very different now, way way different from when we met. Like night and day.
Even with no job and my dad just dying.... I am feeling a Holy Spirit that is connecting me to all the goodness in the world right now.
I choose to be a part of helping myself and helping others. Let those who have to take our material things have them....and let them go freely. If that's what someone needs to be happy is the little bit we have.......let them have it.
Money will never be worth more than love. Someone said to me yesterday, "if you got a million dollars right now what would you do with it?"
My answer, "give it all away!"
When I see what has happened to our great country over money.......yuck! I don't even want it anymore!
To be of service to you and make your world and mine a better more loving place is my only goal. That is the change I'm choosing to make, just like I always have.
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